Goodbye, My Angel
by Essence Senra
Summary: Setting: When Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. Other stuff: Bella wants to die. Without Edwards she's unable to contain herself and throws herself into the hands of a vampire who wants her to suffer. Please Read. ExB
1. Introduction

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters from Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse.**

Introduction

Bella's POV

I just couldn't take it anymore. The pain came to be too much. I wanted to die. The hole in my heart seemed to grow bigger and bigger every day. He left me, my one and only angel left me.

**A/N: I know this was sort but it's like a preface or rather and introduction. I will be writing more. I promise. Just as long as my teachers aren't being evil and it will be longer than this.**


	2. 1 Transformation

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse.**

Without Edward how could I live? I wished, no, I _needed_ to die. I was still laying on the forest floor, when something seemed to have been dragging me around, _Victoria. _I should be afraid now but I was rather happy. I would have could be getting my wish, death.

"I finally got you." Victoria sounded victorious as she stopped dragging me. I opened my eyes to where I was. I was in a cave, where no one could find me.

"Go ahead. Kill me." I pleaded. Victoria was puzzled.

"That was too easy." Victoria smiled, a grim smile.

"What are you waiting for?" I asked.

"Where is he?" She meant Edward I suppose.

"He left." My voice cracked. I did not want to think about it. It hurt all too much. Victoria looked furious as to a response to my reply.

"After all this time. I look for ways of killing you. But, _he_ leaves you! I went though all those annoying wolves to get here!" Victoria was obviously thinking of ways to torment Edward since he had killed James. I did not care. I still wanted to die.

"No human would ever want to die. Why would you?" Victoria asked confused.

"It's just hurts so much knowing Edward doesn't want me anymore. It's like I can't live without him anymore." I started crying. I couldn't contain it anymore. Victoria smiled. She had an idea, but what?

Victoria broke all my arms, legs, and ribs. I was getting closer to death but not quite there. She _wanted_ me to suffer _slowly._ As long as I died I would have no complaint against it. Then the moment she bit me I figured it all out. She want me to suffer forever.

For three whole days Victoria did not drink my blood. I was becoming a vampire. She wanted me to become one of them so that I would suffer forever, internally and emotionally. Then I was no longer human.

**A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed this piece. I really need to do homework now. So until tomorrow, or during my breaks. ;)**


	3. 2 Confusion

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse nor do I own their characters.**

I did not want to be a vampire. I wanted to die. If I was a vampire I would have to live forever though all this pain _he_ cause me. I now had to die some other way. But how? I couldn't just kill myself. How would I burn myself if I was in pieces? There would be no way. I just needed another vampire to kill me. Perhaps Victoria? No, she has already proven that she won't kill me. I'd have to kill her.

I pounced onto Victoria's back. Going on instinct I had no idea what I was doing. Thanks to my newborn strength I was able to hang onto Victoria long enough to kill her. Then I burned her.

* * *

I took off running in the woods. Hopefully, I'd run into a vampire. Just before I hit civilization I stopped. I did not want to kill humans. Why invite temptation? I turned back around. What would I do now? Get a ticket and fly to Italy? No, I couldn't, I'd end up killing the fight attendants, pilot, and the passengers. What _would_ I do?

Suddenly a bear came by. I pounced on it out of instinct and drank it's blood. I was _good_. I drank it dry. I was full.

I looked at myself. Something was different. I wasn't me. I turned into someone completely different except for my skin tone and perhaps my eyes. I didn't have long brown hair. I had short blond hair. I was also very short, maybe shorter than Alice. Why? When you change into a vampire does _this _ happen? I kept staring at myself. Was _I_ going crazy?

Then right before my very eyes my hair changed and so did the shape of my body. I was not longer a short blond. I was now a girl with black hair in pigtails. I was tall and very slim. Was I going crazy? I wish I had Carlisle. He'd tell me what was happening. Sadly though he wasn't. I was going to have to figure this out by myself. It was so hard. It was as if I was _shape shifting. _

**A/N: I know this is short. But it was a perfect stop to any chapter. I really think I'm making the story move too fast but... ah well.  
**

** Anyway... review review review!**


	4. 3 The Sadness Within

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. Nor do own any of their characters.**

_A/N: This chapter is the longest so far. So enjoy. Also, I should probably warn you that this story will in fact change POVs a lot._

The Sadness Within.

Edward's POV

It really hurt me to say goodbye to the love of my existence. I probably shouldn't have. But, Bella deserves a life with no danger. I'd do anything to make sure Bella was safe, even if it meant hurting me. Bella would eventually move on... or at least I hope. I couldn't bare it if she was put into danger because of who _we _are. It was not a choice for any of us and I do not ever wish to damn Bella into this so called _life_. It's not a life at all. It's a life of a _monster_.

I kept running through the forest. If I ever turned around I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I had to leave. If I were human I'd cry this very instant. Dry sobs came from my eyes. How could I do this. I told Bella I didn't _love_ her anymore and she believed it. As if I could live without her. There is no way. It pained me to even be without her for even one second. It was too hard to bare. It felt like a part of me just died the very moment I told her that I did not want her. She had taken my heart with her. Now there are only a hole in my body that would never be fixed until I saw her face smile in my arms once more.

I finally reach home. I collapsed. Emmett caught me before I hit the ground.

"What's wrong bro?" Emmett asked. Jasper obviously felt the pain I was in since he was on the ground too. It hurt all too much.

"Nothing." I replied gasping for air though I did not need it.

* * *

It has been three whole days since I last saw my beautiful Bella. My family has changed drastically ever since Bella was out of our lives. Alice for one is no longer the hyper one that cared so much about fashion. Without her best friend she was... empty. Bella fill _all_ of us with joy. Even Rosalie was down. She looks at what she has done while Bella was in our lives and feels bad that she spent all that time hating her. Emmett has never laugh the way Bella made him laugh anymore. Jasper, he blames himself for this happening. He believes that if he had not tried to eat Bella then our family would be happy and whole right now. Esme is just sad. Carlisle tries to cheer her up but nothing works. Even Jasper can't calm anyone down now. The sadness is too hard for him to handle. He feels _everyones'_ sadness. Now he can;t be in the same room as I am or else he is on the floor in pain. I try to keep a straight face but the pain hurts. I should have never left her This was the biggest mistake of my existence.

I wish I could just run up and hold Bella in my arms forever. To embrace her. To love her. To make her happy.

That day in the forest, is a day I'll never forget, but want to forget. It's like it has been burned into my memory forever and nothing could stop it. I would never be the same person ever again. How could have I done this.

_'Edward! Stop moping around. Your killing me. How come your not on the ground like I am. The pain you have is so intense. I'm sorry. Let's go back and you can tell her that you love her and everything will be back to normal again. I can't bare this anymore. PLEASE!' _Jasper's thoughts pleaded. I might not have been on the floor but I couldn't move from where I sat. I hadn't moved for three days straight. My family is beginning to worry about me. Every day my eyes turn more black but I would not move no matter how hungry I was.

"No," I couldn't go back.

_'Edward. It's killing us all. Please go back.'_ Alice's thoughts begged.

"No," I repeated. I sounded like a broken record player denying everyone's thoughts to go back and get Bella no matter how much I wanted to. I was dead. Without Bella, there was no will left to live.

**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter in Edward's POV. I must write more! R&R please ;)**


	5. 4 Dr Carlisle Cullen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. Nor do I own any of their characters.**

**A/N: Read and Review please. Hope you like this chapter.**

Dr. Carlisle Cullen

Bella's POV

_15 years later_

I looked for years. But there was not a vampire who _could_ kill me. The hole was getting bigger by the minute. I gave up on trying anymore.

After five years I was able to overcome the smell of human blood and could live among them again, although it's still difficult at times to resist. I had finished high school and collage and off to get a job. I worked as a nurse. My shape shifting ability was easy to control so I wouldn't be shape shifting by accident any more. Which was a good thing. Although my eyes and skin tone stayed the same. I wouldn't use my natural form at work just in case Carlisle somehow appeared. If he did I'd just quit and find a new job.

The appearance I chose to be a skinny, long haired brunette with blond high lights named, Cindy Alice Aron. I hunted regularly so that I could resist the smell much more easily. I liked being a nurse helping the doctors. It was a good job. I loved it. Though I did not want to be in the same room as someone who was bleeding a lot. I would have to leave the room or that person would die and I couldn't allow myself to kill the innocent.

"Cindy! Come here. You've been assigned a new doctor to help from now on." Tracy called me to the front desk. I walked at human speed to the desk.

"Where? Who?" I was curious. Tracy flipped through the papers in front of her.

"In room seventy-one. His name is...Dr. Carlisle Cullen." My jaw dropped as low it could go. He was here? O no. I loved this job. This was the best hospital I'd been in for years. The hole got bigger. The pain was too much to handle. I was barely able to keep my straight face. Why would the Cullens be in Crescent for? Sure it was a perfect city for vampires to live in but how could they! I just hope I wouldn't bump into Edward before I broke apart completely. _Its only Carlisle. Its only Carlisle. It's only Carlisle._ I kept telling myself.

I began walking the walk to room seventy-one before Tracy shouted. "Cindy! One more thing! Dr. Cullen's family is visiting him today!" Just great. Edward would be here. I couldn't walk in there, but I wanted to see his face so bad. I wanted him to love me and tell him I loved him. I wanted to breathe in his sweet aroma once more. To have him in my arms. To kiss him. I wish he felt the way I do about him. All my dreams shattered when he broke my heart, but I would never forget him.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. Edward was standing right there. He smelled as wonderful as ever. Though he could never be mine, but I hoped.

"Hello, my name is Cindy Alice Aron and I will be assisting you...Dr. Carlisle Cullen." I said to Edward. I had to act clueless otherwise they'd know who I was. Edward smiled.

"Well, hello Cindy. I'm not Dr. Carlisle. Over there is the doctor you are looking for." Edward pointed to Carlisle. I turned to look at him.

"Apologizes, Dr. Carlisle Cullen for not knowing who you were." I said. I saw them all, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Esme, Edward, and Carlisle was there. I couldn't believe it. Somehow I was happy to see them again but I knew it would never be the same again.

"No need for apologizes." Carlisle told me.

I turned to see Alice. Her eyes sparkled. Did she recognize me even though I wasn't in my real form? Did she see into the future that we'd be friends again? What happened? I was left clueless.

Then I turned to see Jasper. He looked as if he was in pain. I forgot he could feel all the pain I was in. I threw an apologetic smile at him. I did not like to see any of the Cullens hurt.

I turned to look at Esme. Her eyes full of curiosity as she looked into my eyes. I turned quickly not wanting her to know who I was or rather who I had _become_.

I was not looking at Emmett. He was standing besides Rosalie, his wife. His arm around her waist, the way Edward would hold me. I couldn't take it I turned away. The hole was getting _even_ bigger now. I just couldn't take it anymore. It hurt all too much. I hear Jasper groan. He was in more pain and _I_ was causing him it. I spun around to look at him. Alice was quickly by his side trying to comfort him in all the pain I just put him through. I felt bad. The door shut behind me. I did not realize it was still open. Carlisle was eying my suspiciously and so was Esme. What did I do? I did nothing wrong so for, or at least I think I did nothing wrong.

**A/N: My chapters just get longer and longer don't they. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this piece. Thank you Kawaii-Inu-mimi for being the fist person to comment on my story. I'm glad you like it. I hope to update as soon as possible, but unfortunately I must do my homework now. Bye! ;) **

**Review Please!**


	6. 5 A New Addition?

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, OR ECLIPSE. NOR DO I OWN THE CHARACTERS**

_'Oh! It's lovely vampire! She is just like us. She drinks animal blood instead of humans. Maybe we could have an addition to our family! Oh how she'd be a perfect daughter and maybe help ease the hole in Edward's heart.' _Esme hoped_. _I'd never fall in love with this - this _Cindy!_ Bella is the only one I love. How could Esme think that! Bella is far more beautiful than this _Cindy. _

_'How can this 'Cindy' be is so much pain. It's more intense than Edward's.' _Jasper groaned.

I wonder what she's thinking... I focused on listening into _her_ thoughts. What's happening? I can't read her mind... just like Bella. I gasped, but _this _ couldn't _be_ Bella.

_'Doe a deer, a female deer. Ray, a drop of golden sun. Me, a name, I call myse-' _I couldn't take anymore of this song Alice was singing in her head. Why would she be singing a song from the "_Sound of Music_"? What did she see? What is she keeping from me? So many questions, I knew, would go unanswered. I sighed. Why is she all of a sudden all so happy? I guess I'll never find out. I frowned.

_'Being alone, how can she resist the smell of the human blood?'_ Carlisle wondered.

I took a breath. This smell, it's so familiar, the sweet freesia smell. This sweet freesia smell, it's like Bella's scent mixed in with a vampire's. However, there is absolutely no way this could be Bella! No one was left to change her! I felt a wave of calmness come my way.

_'Calm down. Please.' _Jasper had sent another wave of calmness to me. I took a deep breath. I felt better.

Is she really who she claims to be? She is so hesitant around us... like she's scared of us. We're nothing to be afraid of. I kept staring at her. I couldn't take my eyes off her, but why? She is so... _different._ I have so many questions to ask her, but they will just have to go unasked.

_Cindy_ never glanced my way, but when she did, she'd just turn back around quickly. Probably because she saw _me_ staring at her.

"Your a vampire, but you feed on animals." Esme stated the obvious.

"Yes," Cindy whispered "So are you."

"How did you overcome the smell of humans? It must have been very hard for you to go through it alone." Carlisle asked.

"Yes, it was hard." Cindy was choosing very short replies and did not even answer Carlisle's question. She just skipped over it.

"How long has it been since... you changed?" Emmett asked. I was shocked by that.

"Fifteen years," Cindy replied.

Someone's coming. "Shhhhhh..." I shushed them. Suddenly, Tracy came in.

"Hello doctor. Your first patient is here to see you." Tracy said. _'Oh my he's cute! But, look at the way he's staring at Cindy. I wish I was her. Ah well, I hope she gets him even if I don't.'_ Tracy sighed. She was talking about me. How long had I been staring at Cindy? Too long. My mind did no process for the entire day. I was still deep in thought.

"Well, that's enough patients for today." Carlisle said packing up.

"Um... Cindy! Do you want to come by later this evening? We'd love to have you. Come on. Come. I'll be fun. I promise." Esme added.

The room went silent.

"Sure." Cindy did not sound enthusiastic at all. Why would Esme want _her _to come over?

_'Oh! This will be fun Edward. Maybe another addition to our family!'_ Esme was excited alright.

_'Yes! Someone to go shopping with me. I haven't had a shopping partner for fifteen years. How ironic, Cindy was changed fifteen years ago, when we left Bella...'_ Alice thought. It was just a coincidence. There is still no way this could be Bella.

_'Hey, Edward. Like the new nurse huh?'_ Emmet teased. I shook my head, _no._

We all left the building together. Cindy stood as far away from me as my family would allow. Why was _so _uncomfortable around me? What did I do wrong?

**A/N: Say thanks to **Kawaii-Inu-mimi **for this chapter. Without her I'd probably be asleep now. I hate waking up at 5am. BUt I did just to write this. By the way, I'm going to new york today. Hope you like this piece. REVIEW PLEASE!**


	7. 6 The Talk

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. Nor do I own their awesome characters.**

The Talk

Bella's Pov

We walked to our cars in the faculty parking lot. The Cullen cars were parked right next to mine. How _ironic._ I sighed. How am I suppose to get out of this now?

"Can I have the directions to your home?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Sure," Jasper handed me a folded piece of paper. I took it from him and walked to my car.

I hopped in. The directions were absolutely confusing. I did not understand it one bit. I sighed. At least now I'm off the hook. Just then Alice appeared at my window.

"Here, use _these_ instructions. They're much easier to follow." Alice handed me the instructions. I sighed. She must have seen me not going. As she walked away she looked like the happiest person alive. I closed my car door and drove off

I reached my home in 5 minutes flat. I loved the speed. It was amazing. I got ready to go to the Cullens' house. No doubt it would be beautiful, whatever it looked like. Plus, it would be expensive beyond a doubt. I chose to wear a light blue baby doll top with a pair of blue jeans with a floral design at the bottom. I knew Edward would like this color, though he'll never love me. At least I might see him smile. That's all I wanted. One last smile from him. I was finally finished and got into my car. I drove to the Cullens' house.

When I reached the Cullens' house I was stunned. The outside looked incredible. I could only imagine how beautiful the inside was. I walked to the door at human speed trying to savor each moment. I finally reached the doorstep. The ironic thing is it took me longer to walk to the doorstep then it did to drive here. I was about to knock on the door when Alice swung the door open.

"Hello, _Cindy._" Alice put _a lot_ of emphasis on the Cindy part. She probably knew I was Bella already and Edward probably read her mind. I sighed.

"Hello, Alice." I greeted.

"Come in. Come in." Alice said. I walked in. It was amazing. Much more beautiful than their house in Forks. I couldn't believe it. I stood there stunned. I could feel my jaw drop. Alice giggled.

"There is more you know." Alice stated.

"Yes, there is a lot more." Jasper slid to Alice's side. Pulling her by the waist and gently kissing her hair. Alice giggled again. So was still the enthusiastic, happy, hyper person she was fifteen years ago except happier. The hole in my chest started hurting again. Jasper winced. I kept forgetting that he can feel what I'm feeling.

"Hello Cindy, and welcome to our home. Please, take a seat." Carlisle lead me to a seat. I sat down, not wanting to be rude.

"So what do you want to know?" I asked knowing they'd have lots of questions to ask me. Soon Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward came into the room and sat down as well.

"Well, _I_ would like to know why you are in so much pain all the time. It's unbearable." Jasper said.

"That's not a question." I was really nervous now. What _would_ I tell them?

"Okay, fine. How did you become a vampire?" Jasper asked.

"I think you all know. I was bitten by a vampire and let the venom spread." I answered vaguely.

"Right... but who changed you and why?" Jasper asked.

"Now, now Jasper, no need to push. Cindy dear you don't have to answer any questions if you don't feel comfortable doing so." Esme said. I felt grateful.

"Thank you Esme. Who changed me? Well I rather not answer that. Why? Because I _wanted_ her to kill me. I saw no reason to move on in my life. My life was falling apart anyway. I felt as though living would only make me suffer more." I replied, still very vague in my answers.

"Why did you want to die?" Emmett asked curiously.

"Pass." I simply replied.

"Why do you chose to feed on animals rather than humans?" Carlisle asked. I knew he would ask this. I sighed.

" I don't want to be a monster. I don't feel like I should take away innocent humans' lives. It's just not right." At least _that_ one was an easy one to answer.

"Have you ever drank human blood?" Alice asked.

"No." I was proud of that.

"You must have a lot of resistance." Edward stated. I nodded, unable to reply to Edward vocally.

"What is your power?" Rosalie asked.

"Pass." I couldn't blow my cover now.

"But, that's the easiest one." Rosalie argued.

"Pass." I hissed.

"Fine" Rosalie was angry now. Jasper sent a wave of calm towards Rosalie.

"What happened previous to your change?" Edward asked. I gulped. What should I say. I searched through my head for answers.

"I _honestly_ can't remember." I lied. I bet all of them knew I was lying.

"So, what's your favorite?" Emmett asked.

"Mountain lion." Edward was right. They did taste very good. It was the best. Edward smiled. I got to see his smile today. I felt relieved. However, he is probably smiling because he won a bet. That would explain Emmett pouting where he sat.

The room went silent.

"Are there any more questions you would like to ask me?" I offered.

"May you please tell us your power." Rosalie tried again. Esme smacked her in the head.

"Ow." Rosalie said.

"Well... it's alright. I guess I'll tell you." I sighed.

"You don't have o tell us if you don't want to dear." Esme offered me a way out, but I knew Rosalie would not stop till she had her way so why not.

"My power is to shape shift." I said. Everyone was shocked.

"Could you shape shift to look like me?" Alice was excited.

"Sure." I shape shifted. I looked exactly like Alice.

"Now we're twins!" Alice shouted.

"Yes, we are." I sounded just like Alice. Everyone was even more amazed. I never knew I could imitate voices too.

"Alright, how about you try me?" Emmett asked.

"Okay," I shape shifted again, though I never tried to be a male before.

"Amazing." Edward said. "Now try me." Uh oh. I was in deep now. I could never look like Edward. He was too perfect. It's impossible. I sighed,

"Alright." I shape shifted. To my surprise I did look like Edward. He smiled. I shape shifted back to _Cindy._

"Okay, any one else?" I offered.

"No, but I would like to ask you something." Esme said.

"Go ahead." I replied.

"Is _that_ you natural form?" Esme asked curiously.

"No." I simply said.

"Well, what is your _natural form_?" Jasper asked.

"I'd rather not say." I stated.

"Well, can you show us?" Jasper asked. I gulped. What would I do now? Should I tell them that _I'm_ Bella? Or what? I took a deep breath.

**A/N: Sorry for not updating a lot. I hope you like this chapter. And I'm not sorry about the cliffe because _I_ don't even know what's going to happen. **


	8. 7 Is she really

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. Nor do I own their characters**

Chapter 7 - Is she really...

Edward POV

Who is this "Cindy"? She could be anyone! She could have been the one who killed my Bella! She could be part of the Volturi. However, but her eyes weren't crimson red, but rather a topaz gold. The Volturi only fed on humans. Was she an exception? What if she is someone who wishes us death? Is she a least bit of a threat to us? Why is is she in so much pain as Jasper tells me? What happened to her right before her transformation? And most importantly; why is she answering all our questions so vaguely or refusing to answer them at all? Is Cindy even her real name? This was all so confusing and more than that, irritating; Why couldn't I read her mind? . I frowned. I turned to look at Cindy. Her muscles tensed. She looked as if she was ready to turn and run for it. My eyes narrowed who is she?  
"No, I cannot show you." Cindy replied coldly.  
"Why not?" I was curious enough to ask. "Is the Volturi tracking you for some reason?"  
"No." She whispered, only answering on of my questions. She was trembling. Jasper tried to calm her down. She hissed at him. Then took a deep breath to calm herself. How could she have known it was Jasper? We have never even told her our powers before. Then it hit me. She is someone whom we already met. That narrowed it down quite a lot. But who could she be. Someone who changed fifteen years ago...  
_'Edward! Quit trying to force an answer out of her!'_ Esme's thoughts  
screamed. I winced.  
_'Can we trust her?' _Jasper asked gravely though his thoughts. I had forgotten that I hadn't told my family that I couldn't read her mind. I shrugged. Jasper sighed.  
"Is Cindy your real name?" Jasper asked suspiciously. There was a slight pause. She shook her head. "Well, what is your real name?"

"Marie," 'Cindy' answered. I could tell she was lying.

_'Oh my... Marie... Where have I heard that from? ... Wait a minute... EDWARD! Marie is Bella's middle name!'_ Esme's thoughts screamed in excitement. Alice was bouncing up and down in her chair. I was frustrated now, and denying any hope that tried to enter my mind, if I hoped, and it turned  
out to be a coincidence, it would metaphorically kill me. There is no way _she _could be Bella!  
However all the evidence was pointing to Bella. First of all, I can't read either of their minds, Bella's middle name is Marie, Marie smells like my Bella, and both Bella and Marie are dead. So many similarities! But, I just couldn't let myself believe this was Bella.  
But, if she was Bella. I couldn't help but wonder, though thinking of her still hurt, would she still love me after all I've done? Who transformed her? There was no one that ever about her and us, except... except Victoria and Laurent! I mentally hissed. I knew I shouldn't have let them live! Only they  
knew about Bella! Why didn't I kill them?! I should go and find them and kill them for KILLING MY BELLA! WHY!?  
_'Calm down,'_ Jasper sent a wave of calm to me. It felt refreshing. I took a deep breath even if I did not need it and pinched the bridge of my nose.  
"Bella, who transformed you?" I hissed trying to hide my anger.  
Everyone's eyes stared at me in shock and hesitant hope. Bella looked as if she was about to collapse.

**A/N: EVERYONE IF YOU REVIEW PLEASE SAY "Bows down to Kawaii-Inu-mimi" because Kawaii-Inu-mimi helped me wioth this chapter so I bow down to her!  
**


	9. 8 Please

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse. Nor do I own the characters.**

_**A/N: Sorry ****Kawaii-Inu-mimi I felt as though if I did not get this Chapter up I would be like going crazy and people might like kill me for not updating. Plus, I think it is pretty good even without your help. At least you have a surprise to read 'D It's been so long since I updated and for that I am sorry. Enjoy reading 'D**_

Chapter 8

Please

Bella's POV

In an instant my feet were flying out the door. I had not time to think, I just ran. I ran deep into the forest just behind the Cullens' house. I had heard nothing after _Edward_ said "Bella". I growled when I thought of _him. _I couldn't go back to the person who _rejected_ me. I just kept running and running.

All of a sudden I tripped. Even as a vampire, whom are to be known as graceful, I fell. I heard Emmett's booming laugher. I got up and ran faster than ever. But, why were they coming _for_ me? _They_ left me. I sighed and kept running. I hoped to run faster than them all.

I heard a familiar yet unfamiliar object coming at me. I heard the very soft steps since the feet barely even touched the ground. It was faster than I had been running. He was close. I could smell his fragrance giving him away in an instant; _Edward. _

He was right behind me. I panicked and jumped high in the air to avoid his hands grabbing me. I had jumped far above his head and landed on the ground. I turned to look at him. His eyes were full of apology? I probably mistaken it for something else. I took a step back as he stepped forward.

"Bella, please. I need to talk to you." Edward tried to explain. He was going to reject me _again! _

"I know what you are going to say. Now please be on your way. I know you don't want me. I don't think-" I paused looking for the right word. "-my heart could take it if you left again. Do you even _know_ how much pain you put me through when _you left_?! I _tried _ to commit _suicide_!" I shouted at him. My temper had risen so high. Edward cringed when I said "suicide". What did it mean to him? He left _me_ to DIE. My heart had broken into millions of pieces when he left! He doesn't know all the pain I've been through for _years!_

"Bella, calm down." Edward said in a calming voice.

"Why should I?" I growled.

"Bella," Edward sighed. "I know this is pathetic but, I..." Edward was unable to finish his sentence.

"You don't love me." I whispered. I was forcing back dry sobs. I turned away from him to run. Before I could he stopped me. He put his hand on my shoulder. I turned. His eyes were hurt for some reason.

"Your wrong." His tone started me. My eyes narrowed. Was this a joke? He told _me_ he did not love me. "I never stopped loving you. Please believe me." His hand took my chin and held it up as if he were going to kiss me. His eyes were so warm and inviting. His lips, just inches away. My mind screamed to kiss him. He was dazzling me as he had many years ago. It left me breathless. I inhaled sharply.

I wanted to believe him. But how could I after _he_ left me. This could just be a lie. What if this is some sort of sick game he plays. Losing him was the worst moment of my life - existence. I couldn't stand it if he left me again. He left me in pieces.

I took a deep breath though it was unnecessary. "Your lying." I snapped.

"Bella I love you. I will do everything I can to make you trust me again. I've never let a moment pass by without even thinking about you. Bella, love, you don't understand how hard it was to leave you." Edward looked hurt by my words. Though I could not believe it. I shook my head, no.

"Bella, what can I say to make you believe me. If you want I'll beg. I'll do anything, anything at all to make you love me again." Again? I never stopped loving him. I frowned at his comment. "Please."

His eyes were so irresistible. I wanted to shout 'Yes! I love you, I never stopped loving you.' and kiss his lips that were only a few inches away. Before I had time to recollect my thoughts our lips met. It was soft and much more passionate than when I was a mere human from what I can remember. My mind was blank. Had I kissed him or him kiss me? Either way I kissed more urgently than before, although I would regret this later on, I did not care. Finally Edward pulled apart, breaking our kiss and pulled me closer to him. I took a deep breath and sunk my head into his perfectly shaped chest. He put his head in my hair like he always had before and breathed deeply.

I suddenly realized I was falling into one of his traps like I had before. No, I wouldn't let this happen again.

"I knew you still loved me." Edward's voice soothed me though I did not want to be soothed. I broke free from his grasp and ran and did not dare to look back.

**A/N: Hope you liked it. Uh I needs help should the next Chapter be in Edward's, Bella's, or Alice's POV?**


	10. 9 Increasing Pain

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. Nor do I own their wonderful characters.**

Chapter 9

Increasing Pain

Edward's POV

**A/N: Anything underlined is a quote from Twilight**

She was out the door before I could stop her. My body would not move. My empty hands stung, as if someone had ripped my heart out and smashed it to pieces. Why did she leave. I could feel the hurt and shock on my face. I could barely stand at this point so I let my body fall to the ground. I laid there in the forest thinking about everything I did. Could anyone forgive me? I did so much wrong. I should have never have let her go, but I did. I would have to live with all this regret, but I just couldn't live like this. Without her, I'm an empty shell. She has chosen to not to be with me. I dry sobbed.

I remembered every little detail, of every little moment we shared together, but it was all in the past. It would never happen again. I mind as well be dead. My family surly won't kill me. I need a way to kill myself, but it isn't possible. I frowned. Why did it have to be so difficult to die?

Bella's POV  
I ran and ran. How could I live now? After that kiss my thought wondered. What would I do? When he said 'I knew you still loved me,' he sounded so relieved. I must have imagined that. I needed a way to die, and fast. I was an empty shell because he had taken my heart with him. It was scattered every where, but when we kissed it was as if all th pieces found it's way together for that one moment.

It finally came to the point where I couldn't run anymore because I was hurting emotionally so badly. I need to stop. I took a deep breath and sat on a rock. I put my hands to my temples and began to think of ways to die.  
I only knew of but few ways to die. One of which was being cut into pieces and being burned. however there was a flaw to that; no vampire was able to defeat me. Another was to have werewolves to rip me apart. The problem with that was that I did not want to die in the hand of those filthy wolves. The last one, the only one I had never tried before. The one I never ventured through, that I was earning the money for. I remembered that day when Edward had said 'Anyway you don't irritate the Volturi, not unless you want to die,' but I _did_ want to die. My last option; the volturi.

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in like 9 days. Plus, sorry it's so short. Btw, I sort of digging myself into a dead end. I'm working my way out of it though. Now I apologize to everyone in the library who may be with Kawaii-Inu-mimi at this time. BUT! Kawaii-Inu-mimi ISH AWESOME! hehehheheheh is secretly not sorry**


	11. 10 Flight

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. Nor do I own their wonderful characters.**

Chapter 10

Flight

Bella's POV  
I decide to go to Italy. I got up from the ground and started to run to the airport. I frowned the whole way there. I didn't have any bags with me just myself. The guards at the airport grew with suspision. I sighed and went through. Luckily, I had just enough on me to get a one-way ticket to Italy.  
"Why are you in such a rush?" I heard a guard ask me as he put he hand in front of me as if to stop me.  
"No reason," I said blankly, desperately trying to get on the plane. I walked around his big arms.  
"Stop!" he commanded me. I turned around unwillingly. I was growing impatient.  
"What?" I snapped.  
"Why are you going to Italy without any baggage?" He asked hesitating by the sound of my uninviting voice.  
"It's none of your business," I snapped and got on the plane. I took a window seat and _pretended_ to fall asleep.

I wasn't surprised when the very first guy who noticed me sat next to me. I sighed. This was going to be a long flight.

Edward's POV

I reluctantly went home. As I walked at human pace home I couldn't keep my thoughts off from Bella. She didn't want me anymore. _That kiss we shared was only a dream_, I kept telling myself. I wouldn't become convinced though through my efforts.

Finally I reached home. I'd expected my family to be asking me a million questions.

_'Sorry'_ I heard everyone's thoughts say except for Alice whom was singing _'I'll stand by you' _in her head. Alice, also, appeared much happier than the rest of them. She had a big smile on her face and desperately tried to keep me out of her thoughts. I gave up trying to read her thoughts and tried to block her. All these songs were about _love._ Though I was grateful that she had told every one and saved me from explaining everything.

I took off to my room. Jasper tried to cheer me up. I smiled at him. When I reached my room I let it all out. I sobbed dry tears. I put my hands to cover my face. How could I have been so stupid. Why did I have to leave her. I collapsed on my knees. This was no way to live. Without Bella, what's the point of staying alive?

I looked up and saw my keys to the Volvo on the couch. An idea flickered in my mind. I grabbed the keys and headed out the door.

**A/N: Woot! Finished. Haha. Don't kill me O.o**


	12. 11 Flicker of hope

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. Nor do I own there ONE-DAR-FULL characters**

**A/N: xP Running out of titles xP Anyway... READ NOW! And like don't kill me for not updating xP**

Chapter 11 - Flicker of hope

Edward's POV

I got in my Volvo and just drove. There was something that I had always put off of because I knew my family would never allow it. This time I was going to follow through with it, no matter what they did. Although my family would be devastated if I died, I did not care. I couldn't live like this anymore. It's unnatural. _I'm unnatural._ I should have died all those years ago but I didn't. This time there was no turning back. I sighed. The Volturi here I come.

I got to the airport in 2 minutes flat. As soon as I was inside I heard an irritated voice wonder in their head.

_'What the? What is with people now a days getting on planes without baggage?!'_ I turned to look at the guard who though that, he looked, no, glared at me, obviously annoyed. I went to the ticket line.

"Sir, how can I help you?" A woman asked. Her name tag said her name was Nelle.

"I would like a ticket to Italy." I hoped she would not hear the anxiousness in my voice.

_'Hmm... I bet he's going after that pale girl that left an hour ago. She also left without any baggage too. Maybe he's single.' _Two word stood out to me; _pale girl_. Bella. Could she be... Oh no... My felt my jaw tense. Why is Bella. Going to _Italy!_ I felt so angry. No, I can't let anyone hurt her. But why would she be going to Italy.

"There's only one seat left. However it's been reserved so the only flight you can get leaves next week." I felt disappointment flood through me. Only one thing left to do. _Dazzling,_ as Bella called it.

I leaned in closer. Breathing on her. Then in my sweetest voice I asked. "Are you sure you don't have one more seat available?" Her heart accelerated. I smiled. It had worked. Nelle never had a chance.

_'Oh my god. He's sooooo hot! So close I could just kiss him.'_ she sighed and turned to her computer.

"Lets see."

_'I hope Mr. Lenny won't mind having his trip postponed.' _She sounded defeated even in her thoughts.

"There you go. One more. It leaves in ten minutes." She smiled. "That will be one hundred dollars." She winked at me. My smile got even bigger. I would have thought it would be _one thousand dollars._ I handed Nelle the hundred dollars.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

With that I went on to security. This time my life would be no more.

+ - - - - - - - - - - - - +

That dreaded ten minutes were over! Thank god! I couldn't take it anymore. I boarded the plane. I frowned as I heard all of the women's thoughts.

_This is faster than running_, I kept telling myself.

Almost every five minutes the beverage cart would come by and ask if I wanted a drink. I refused ever time. The woman's face grew sadder with every time I said no. I decided to pretend to sleep. I frowned and went to _sleep._ **(A/N: Before people say, "Vampires do not sleep!" Pretend that you are saying 'sleep' but have those air quotation points when you say it, creating sarcasm.)**

+ - - - - - - - - - - - - +

Bella POV

Finally that dreaded plane trip was over! I sighed in relief and my jaw finally relaxed from gritting my teeth for the past few hours. I had forgotten to shape shift into someone who is not as pretty. I sighed. At least it was over. I got off the plane and walked at human pace out the door into an alley. There I shape shifted into what Bella, before the vampire stuff happened. My skin was no longer alabaster white. It was just a pale cream color. The only thing I could not change was my pitch black eyes.

I walked around the city trying to figure out where the Voltori lived. Then it hit me. I saw a beautiful palace. _There it is_. I walked towards the beautiful castle quickly, fighting back invisible tears.

**A/N: And... REVIEW! **


	13. 12 Aro

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters...**

Chapter 12  
Bella's POV  
I reached the palace grounds. There were guards everywhere.  
"My name is Bella Swan. I've come here to die." I said walking toward a guard. They looked at me as if I was crazy, but I was serious. I did want to die. My fist tightened. The guard narrowed his eyes.  
"Come with me." He took me throughout the palace. I was not sure where we were going, but I did not care. It was dark, even to me. We even had to fall. Finally the tunnel got brighter. I was in the throne room.  
"Aro, there is someone here who wishes to see you." He pushed me forward and left.  
"Thank you (name)" Whom I suspected to be Aro answered. Then he turned to face me. "What can I do for you?" Aro asked.  
"I would like to die." I answered confident.  
"How long was it since your change?" Aro asked curiously.  
"15 years,"  
"Come closer," I walked toward Aro. He touched my skin. His face that contained an enormous grin slowly turned into frustration. Perhaps he too could not use his powers on me.  
"What is you power?" Aro asked  
"Shape shifting"  
"Interesting. You could be useful in our staff." He began mumbling to himself. I was left confused. "Why are your eyes topaz?"  
"I don't feed on humans." I answered coldly. His eyes were crimson red. It disgusted me.  
"Mmhmm…. What do you feed on then?" I hated all these stupid little questions.  
"Animals."  
"May I remind you that humans are an animal."  
"Ok then. Animals besides humans." Aro nodded.  
"By the way, what is your name?"  
"Bella Swan." His face lit up as if he had an idea.  
"Are you that human that was with the Cullens?"  
"I used to." There was a long pause.  
"Thank you, but your request has been denied. However, I would like to invite you to come and be part of the Voltori. I see a lot of potential in you." Aro exclaimed at my retreating figure.  
Great, that was my last option. What would I do now? I sighed. I better go hunting soon before I start losing my control. With that in my mind I ran off to the woods.

Edward's POV  
The plane finally landed. I was the first on off. I headed for the palace I saw right ahead. How could anyone miss it? It was huge. Even bigger than our house which was almost impossible with Alice and Esme picking out the houses we would live in. I looked around and saw a shadow into the woods. I thought nothing of it and continued to walk into the building.

_'She would have been perfect. No one would be able to recognize her. She could turn into whatever she wanted.' _Aro's thoughts sighed. My eyes widened. I quickened my pace.

My hopes we destroyed as I continued through the building. She was not here.

"Hello." I greeted.

"Hello, and what request do you have for me today?" Aro asked rudely. Probably because he was in a bad mood to start with.

"I've come here to die." I replied.

_'Another one. What's with these people and dieing?'_ Aro was _annoyed. 'Well might as well see what use he has to me.'_

"Come here" I obeyed. His smile grew bigger by the second. "You have a talented gift in which was you aren't as restricted as mine. You can read minds...but at a distance. I can not. I must be touching that person to gain their thoughts." Even if I _could_ hear from a distanced, Aro could see much more than I could.

"True, however, I can only hear what's going through a person's mind at the very moment. _You_ can hear _all _of the thought that a person had throughout their entire life time to date, by a simple touch." I let go of his hand. Aro smirked.

"You could be of use to use in the Voltori. Why kill you when you are better off with us?" Aro already knew the answer to that. "So what if a little girl is denying love for you. Move on." Aro said coldly. I stood frozen, with a black look on my face. No. I couldn't so this.

I ran for the woods. Perhaps that shadow _was_ Bella. I should have paid more attention. The trees just brushed me. I smelled a familiar, yet faint freesia scent. My mind became alert, and I was off.

**A/N: OK you guys hate me now don't you. Sorry. Busy with exams. I also been making loads of mini shops in Gaia... x.x;; Anyway, hope you don't kill me. .**


	14. 13 Thoughts

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. **

Chapter 13

Thoughts

Edward's POV

What did I do to deserve this? Why did I have to become a vampire? I should have died all those years ago. Did I ask to be 'saved'? This is not much of a life. I'm taking away lives of innocents, even if just animals. I am truly a monster. Why did we have to exist in the world? The world would be so much better off if vampires just did not exist. Without us, many more would be alive. What are we too this world? Just population control? To keep the earth from being to crowded? That's still not a good reason.

I kept running through the woods. It stretched off farther than I had expected. I felt the air and trees rush pass me. I remember, vividly, that day I took Bella to the game. We ran through trees and forests that looked similar to this one. Being so close to her, breathing in the sweet scent every time I took in a breath. It was memorizing.

I did not know for how long, but I had stopped moving. I was standing, still, very still. Lost in my thoughts. The sun just barely touching my skin. Showing a slightest glimmer in the sky. There was no one here anyway, so it didn't matter. I just kept standing there.

At the time, I thought that the best decision was to leave. So that Bella would not be dangered by my very presence. Though it tore me apart. I saw it as the right thing to do for her. Obviously it did not go as I had planed. She was hurt, more then I want to admit. When I left, a vampire, made her a vampire. It was not a good thing. I wanted her to be safe from us vampires. I should have known. Bella _was/is_ a danger magnet. It seems _anything dangerous_ within a mile-no that's cutting it too close, within the continent, would find it's way to Bella.

Now I look back. That was not a very well planned out decision. Not like I took much time conjuring it up. All these years I had been convincing myself that I did the right thing. I didn't. I never did. Ever since that first day at school that I met her, I've been making bad decisions.

I kept in deep thoughts. Not caring who was looking or not looking at me. Not even bothering to step out of the direction of the sunlight.

Bella's POV

I just finished draining from a grizzly bear. Those were very filling. Now I was full. What would I do now? Go home? Well, where is home anyway? Do I even have a home anymore? No, I didn't. I had nothing to keep me going. The only reason I'm still alive is because vampires aren't easily killed and can't die from age. I sighed. I should be looking at the bright side. What is the bright side?

I looked up to the sky. Something sparkled in the corner of my eye. I turned with curiosity. It reminded me of the day Edward took me to the meadow. When Edward was in the direct path of the sun. It was so beautiful. More beautiful than anything I'd seen in my life. Then it hit me. That had to be a vampire.

This was my chance.

I ran toward the light, willingly to die.

**A/N: Aws. My chapters keep getting shorter and shorter xD. Ah well. This came to me while I was lying down on my bed. So here I am at 12:30 in themorning typing it all up for all you people. XD Hope you liked it. Reveiw please and thank you.**


	15. 14 Hey

**Disclaimer: i don't own characters blah blah blah twilight blah blah new moon blah blah eclipse blah blah breaking dawn.**

**Author's Note: I GIVE UP! GRR I couldn't think of anything to put after this. So, here. I'll still be writing just trying to figure out what happens next. TELL ME WANT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN NEXT!**

Edward's POV

No one was close by. Not a scent of vampire or human. Nor did I hear any thoughts. The only thing there was was trees, dirt, and a slight scent of freesias. I could be imagining. Since I remember the scent so clearly in my mind as if it was right in front of my nose. I took one last breath.

I took a step forward. I sighed. Going home, they'd all yell at me. I reluctantly took another step forward. This is not the way I wanted to live, if you could call this living. I took yet another step forward. The rest of my existence would be in sadness. Not even my family could cheer me up. Nothing will be able to cheer me up besides Bella. She was my life. I lived to be with her. I'm the one who pulled away. This time I ran.

Bella's POV  
I stopped at a nearby tree to watch whom was making the shimmering light. My eyes widened as I ran around to look at his or her face. I did not expect this. Edward. He was here in Italy but, why? He's face was in sorrow. I swear, if he were human he would be bursting in tears by now. He took a few steps forward. Wonder how he did not notice me yet. Probably since he was in deep thought. I wanted to see his smile one more time.

I remember that last kiss we had back in the forest near the Cullen's home. It was the last bit of happiness that I would ever feel. I took another glance at him. Beautiful as ever. I watched in aw.

I wonder what is bothering him though.

Why was he in Italy?!

Questions. So many of them.

None would ever be answered. I sighed and collapsed to the ground, still watching him. His eyes, they were so dark, why is he starving himself? Even with his control, it's dangerous. I was standing clearly in front of him, yet he did not even notice me.

Instead of taking another step forward, Edward broke in to a run. It startled me. _Take a deep breath,_ I tole myself, and my body obeyed. Before I knew it I was trailing behind Edward.

Edward's POV

Why was Bella's scent getting stronger? Much stronger? As if she were close by? I must be dreaming. I should be getting home. They are probably worried about me, especially Esme. It must e difficult for them, with me moping around all the time. I sighed.

I stopped in my tracks. The wind hit me hard. As if someone had followed me, but I knew that would be impossible since there were no minds to read. However, this would explain why everywhere I go it smells the same. But, why would Bella be following. Impossible.

Some how I doubted myself. Swiftly, I turned around. My eyes widen. Were they deceiving me? Standing, in front of me, a beautiful stood with wide eyes. Whom, look liked Bella when she was human despite the eye color. I really couldn't believe it. I was at a lost of words and apparently so was she.

"Edward," she managed to croak.

"Bella?" I whispered. I felt my hands shaken beside me.

Was she following me? For how long? How did I not notice this?

"Y-es?" It sounded like two syllables instead of just one. She was nervous. So was I.

"How long where you following me?" I asked. There was a long pause.

"I was just running in a general direction and I manage to find you." She was lying of course. Her face said it all.

"Your lying." I chuckled.

"What are you doing here?" She changed the subject.

"No reason." I couldn't possibly tell her. Could I? She turned around in a full circle.

"Where's your family?" she asked.

"At home." Which was true. Though probably worried sick about me.

"Oh. And where is that?" She asked. I did not answer. There was a long pause. The silence was unbearable.

"Why are _you_ here Bella?" I asked. Still a bit hesitant.

"No reason." She stared at the ground. But, I really think there is a reason to why she is here. She just won't tell me. Probably since she doesn't trust me anymore. I sighed. These were the times I wished the most I could read her mind.

Same old Bella. I smiled.

She looked up. "Why are you smiling?" Her tone, almost demanding.

"No reason." I breathed in deeply.

**Author's note: Help!**


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